prayer

You were baptized catholic, but raised in an episcopal church where the rector was skeptic of jesus being the only son of god. You were raised to pick apart prayers, to sift through dogmatic rhetoric to discover the meaning behind. The thought of prayer then was an intellectual exercise for you up until you stopped using drugs. It had been suggested at a couple of points to start praying to your higher power. It started very simply, you were directed to say "help" when you woke up and "thank you" when you went to bed after a day without a drug. Here was a day though that was trying you. There were machinations going on at work. To pray, turn the page, otherwise act out, get defensive, start directing blame all around you and get testy at work, return to page 12.